People are going to do things that piss you off.
Friends, family, suppliers and clients have their own agenda and despite your best efforts to control the world around you things are going to happen that make your blood pressure rise. While you have virtually zero control of what happens to you, you do have the power to choose your response.
I'm a sensible, analytical person and in theory I've known for a long time that I have the power to choose my reaction to a situation. The problem is that this knowledge was purely academic. It really clicked into place in my overstressed brain when I took some time over December 2013 to step back from my frantic rat race lifestyle to recharge.
Sitting in a hammock, sipping coffee I read Austrian Psychologist and Neuroscientist Viktor Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning". Frankl's main message in the book is that between stimulus (what happens to us) and response (how we choose to react) we have the power to choose. What gives his message weight? He is a survivor of the Holocaust who spent a large chunk of his life in Nazi death camps. If this man could do it, despite his circumstances - what is our excuse?
Doing things the way we've always done them is easy. Effortless. Just slip into that groove that you've carved out by repeating the same behaviour over and over. Breaking old habits and doing the things you know you should be doing to move forward is not easy. Sometimes we don't even understand our true drivers or motivators. Why do we do what we do? Romans 7:15 sums this dilemma up well:
"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."
Slipping into old patterns is easy. Getting out of them...hmmm...not so much.
The first step on the road to change is being realistic about where you are right now, and how you got there - be it your personal or professional life. Don't get stuck in excessive introspection though. The "looking in" part is only effective its coupled with "looking out". What circumstances do you find yourself in, and how can you make an impact for the benefit of others in those circumstances?
Essentially its about relationships. About making a difference where you are. About being the best you that you can be. Be brutally honest with yourself about what needs to change in your mindset today and start consciously exercising your power to choose.
Go and make a difference this week!
We've hit the first official South African working week with a bang. Well in my case it was the shrieking of my phone alarm. Getting up at 6am is a shock to the system when you're been chilling under the covers till 8am for 3 weeks solid.
Now before you "hard working", "seize the day", "early bird catches the worm" types judge me for being a lazy bum - hear me out. When you run your own business, taking time off from it is essential to its sustainability.
I've been running my business for while and my mindset has definitely shifted since the early days. In the past, when I heard the words "I can't take time off, my business needs me." I used to think"Wow. That's dedication and discipline.
Now I think, "Damn. That's a surefire recipe for burnout." How do I know? Because I've pushed myself to the brink of burnout (and beyond) too many times.
I'm not saying don't be passionate. I'm also not saying you shouldn't push the boundaries and challenge yourself. I'm saying make sure that you are replenishing what you are giving out. You can only expend a certain amount of energy before you run out completely and come to a grinding halt.
I recently started reading Steven Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Not as a cry for help/ my life is a mess new years resolution though. If you take a look at the crowd size in gyms (which will steadily start thinning out between now and March) you'll quickly deduce - making a glib new years resolution is bullshit. It doesn't last. You need to really "count the cost before you build the tower." There's a big difference between making a resolution and setting a goal. If you haven't read 7 Habits yet I suggest you get a copy. It's a gem. I've started putting the concepts into practice and they've already yielded some very satisfying results in my personal life and my business. Here's a link to the book summary
One of the concepts that is helping me get a bit more balance as an entrepreneur is breaking my life up into all the different roles I have personally (Believer, Individual, Wife, Mother, Friend, Writer etc) and professionally (Strategy Manager, Sales Manager, Social Media Manager, Editor etc). After identifying the roles, step 2 is setting goals for each role (long, medium and short term) and planning your week according to those goals.
If you read any management books, attended seminars or trawled the internet you'll have come across the concept of "SMART" goal setting.
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Time-bound
Don't push yourself to burnout this year. Set goals. Find the balance. Work hard. Work smart. Keep focus on what is important across your personal life and your business. Chug back the occasional Redbull if you need to, but make sure you're generating most of your energy from getting enough rest, relaxation and a balanced diet.
Now go out there and rock your week!
